We have a daughter in college who has been a long-standing Christian and firm in her beliefs. However, she is now surrounded by a number of fellow students who laugh at her and tell her that her beliefs are foolish. It’s as though these kids have been indoctrinated by a secular education system that has no place for Christianity. While she is strong, we can see it taking a toll. Any thoughts as to what we might do to help her here?
Thanks
A: As parents, we do our best to prepare to launch our children into adulthood with their faith successfully intact. But no matter how “good” a job we do, college is a testing ground for faith today that has eroded many a solid believer into a questioning, deconstructing cynic.
Unfortunately, this is one of the sad realities of our societal secular descent. Further, our educational systems are taking a leadership role in the marginalization of God. The pressures on our young people to “conform” have never been greater. However, if there is a silver lining, we are seeing a significant move back to faith with Gen Z. Hopefully, this trend continues.
The advice we would offer is to arm your daughter with the truth and the facts. While she may need to be cautious in her choice of friends, reality is our college campuses are often a tight-knit community where this is often difficult (particularly in the “Greek system”).
Your daughter will most likely have to deal with the “debate” of God’s reality. This is a tough one because it will involve combining philosophical arguments, moral standards, and historical data. What non-believers tend to do is push the Bible off as some sort of fictional literature when reality is that “fiction” had no place in the Biblical world. The Bible is not only the centerpiece of our faith but a historical document full of eyewitness accounts
Now, it’s fair to acknowledge that intellectual evidence rarely convinces non-believers without doing personal research. But on the surface, demonstrating that a creator is a more rational explanation for the universe than some “random chance” may hold some weight. As is written in Romans 1:20, “Men cannot say they do not know about God. From the beginning of the world, men could see what God is like through the things He has made. This shows His power that lasts forever. It shows that He is God.”
Most importantly, let’s remember that God in the form of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is a historical figure. The crucifixion is a historical event as is His resurrection. The story is either true, or it is the greatest lie foisted upon mankind. 1 Corinthians 15:6 speaks to many individuals seeing the risen Christ when the Apostle Paul writes, “After that, more than 500 of His followers saw Him at one time. Many are still alive, but some have passed.”
Personally, I tend to look to the apostles as a guide to the reality of Christ’s being and resurrection. Here we have a man, Christ, the perfect Son of God, crucified under Roman authority and the subsequent scattering of believers. Yet who do we have as the first witnesses to the resurrection? Two women! Mary Magdalene and Mary (the mother of James and Joseph). Let’s remember that the milieu of these times treated women as far less than “second-class citizens.”
Further, when the disciples scattered after Jesus’ earthly death, they were in fear of being next in line for such treatment as followers of Christ. Yet each one came back together and preached the Good News. Why would they do this for such a lie? Why face ridicule, imprisonment, or death for a “tall tale?” Because the story of Christ is real. It has eye-witnesses, and the volume of data and believers is undeniable. Even the apostle Thomas (yes, he of “Doubting Thomas”) had to go through his own personal journey of belief as we see in the Gospel of John 20:24-29. He had to touch the wounds of Jesus to believe. He did so and, like the others, followed in the teachings of Christ.
The fact is, Christian students at any secular university should expect their faith and values to be mocked—in both the classroom and throughout the entire campus culture. Not every professor will openly mock Christianity, but expect your child to encounter some who are hostile to Christians. Second, expect your child to be thoroughly indoctrinated in evolution. Third, do not expect freedom of speech on campus—unless the speech is politically correct. Finally, expect your child to be exposed to all types of immorality, including alcohol and drug abuse, and sexual immorality.
When it comes to matters of faith, the best defense is a good offense. Let me offer the following seven offensive weapons to consider:
- Talk with your children before they start school; don’t hide anything from them—let them know exactly what they will face so they will not be surprised. Share and discuss verses like:
12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. 1 Peter 4v12-14
These and other verses from Peter’s writing tell us basically four things are necessary if you are to be triumphant in a fiery ordeal. Number one, expect it. Number two, rejoice in it. Number three, evaluate its cause. And number four, commit yourself to God. Expect it, rejoice in it, evaluate its cause, and then entrust yourself to God.
Have your child read Fox’s Book of Martyrs. If they read this book, they’ll ask themselves the question a hundred times, “How can these Christians being martyred for their faith so totally transcend the physical pain? How can they do that? How can they be singing hymns? How can they be praising God? How can they be forgiving their tormentors?” One, because they see the richness of sharing the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ. Two, because they know the character of their suffering will issue in an eternal weight of glory. And three, because the Spirit of glory, yes, the Spirit of God has rested upon them to lift them beyond the physical dimension.
2. Seek out Christian organizations on campus and steer your children toward these groups. Cru, The Navigators, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, are just a few good ones. The reason behind this is fairly obvious.
Scripture gives many examples regarding warnings relative to whom we choose as friends. Bad “friends” can often lead us into trouble. As Proverbs 12:26 states, “The person who is right with God is a teacher to his neighbor, but the way of the sinful leads them the wrong way.” Pretty basic, but a specific warning as to who we allow in our circle. We see a similar warning in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians where scripture tells us, “Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad” (1 Corinthians 15:33). The teaching here is to be judicious with our friend choice and develop an understanding that there are those who desire to be “friends” yet have the motivation to turn our faith into doubt. Having the strength to discern who is truly “with us” can be critical in our continuing walk with Christ. To that end, as is written in Proverbs 13:20, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but he who walks with fools will be destroyed.” So yes, the beginning point is to surround ourselves with those who walk in the light. Does that mean we dismiss those who are non-believers? Certainly not. But we walk with caution and guard our faith.
- Understand that the university may give parents one message, and students another. Keep an open dialogue with your children at all times. Be curious and ask intelligent, thoughtful questions. And be ready to get answers that may surprise you.
- Turn the tables on your children’s secular friends by having your daughter commit to be a witness to them of the hope that she has in Christ. Again, this is subversive and being on the offensive rather than playing defense.
- Make sure they find a solid bible teaching, a Great Commission living church family, and attend regularly.
- Another book to read is Fish Out of Water: Surviving and Thriving as a Christian on a Secular Campus, by Abby Nye. This is a great resource to prepare both parents and students for a public university.
- Finally, and above all, pray together with your daughter. Don’t just pray for them on your own. Pray with them… often and about real-life issues.
Your daughter can successfully attend a public university and finish with her faith not just intact, but stronger. As parents,
9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6v9
Leave a Reply