As a child I was the unfortunate victim of abuse; sexual and otherwise. I often blamed myself as my parents did not believe what I was telling them. Now, as an adult, I know I am supposed to forgive but I’m finding that difficult to do. I know in reading scripture that for my salvation, I must forgive those who have done wrong to me. But it’s not in my heart. I’d be interested in another perspective.
A:
This is a hard pill to swallow. Although it is difficult to read, it brings back many
memories from my childhood. However, I will answer your question, not as a victim, but as a survivor. The circumstances in my situation were a little different; nonetheless, I could not truly heal from my abuse until I was an adult, the same as you.
You are correct in your statement, “I know I am supposed to forgive.” This statement is the main gateway to your healing for the rest of your life. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do as God knew it would be difficult for us. This is why every day we must maintain a personal relationship with God. I recall growing up as a child the saying, “time heals all wounds,” and I
always wondered if that saying was true. Now, as an adult, I know that wounds are healed only when I put in the work towards my healing. Basically, healing is a journey, and we determine the duration of that process. God created each of us for a purpose. His revelation of our purpose occurs during different seasons of our lives. You mentioned, “But it’s not in my heart,” referencing those you need to forgive. My suggestion to you would be is seek not your heart, but God’s heart. Remember the Bible tells us, “God searches the heart and examines the mind” (Jeremiah 17:10). The more we seek God for
forgiveness towards others, the more our hearts will be like His, which is what He desires for us through His Holy Word. If we are to be imitators of God, we need His guidance along the way,even in difficult situations.
You are already a survivor for the mere fact that you are inquiring assistance in your growth as a Christian. Also, seeking help for unforgiveness clearly signifies your eagerness and longing to be healed from any past or future pain. God is a forgiving God, and He wants us to be more like Him. I believe you have the courage to continue to search the scriptures and seek the face of God for your healing.
This was my testimony; I had to really seek God for why this situation happened to me. I now know why, and one of the reasons is to help others that would experience similar situations. Although I had a rough beginning, God could see my beautiful ending. I know everyone’s experiences are different; however, if you can simply begin making small steps towards your journey of overcoming unforgiveness by remembering these scriptures, it would become a definite starting point:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).
“Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you…” (Psalm 55:22, KJV).
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, NIV).
Even though this task may seem simple, you will gain so much more insight in the end. God wants us to succeed in every aspect of our lives, and I’m convinced you are moving in the right direction. Follow this small task of reading scriptures and God will add to your understanding daily. Remember, you are a child of God, and He is calling you to a higher level in Him. However, He’s inviting you to come a little closer to Him so He can assist you with letting go of unforgiveness. God will not lead you in the wrong direction, so keep your faith in Him knowing that He will never fail. One day, you will look up and realize you have overcome unforgiveness because forgiveness will become easier every time we place our trust in God and not ourselves. You are on the right path! Allow God to take control and use your testimony to help not only your healing, but the healing of someone else who needs to hear your story of how you overcame unforgiveness. You have already won the race! “…the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong…” (KJV).
This is your time for healing. Focus on this scripture, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (KJV). God has forgiven us and will continue to forgive us throughout the rest of our lives because He’s a sovereign God, and He gives us the strength to forgive as well. Follow His heart and keep asking Him for guidance. He will continue to place people in your pathway who will help and encourage you along the way. YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! God wants to use YOU to help others as well. Get ready for your healing!
Many Blessings on Your Journey!
Leave a Reply